Nobody is born a leader, but everybody can become one.
We know that we live in an uncertain world, and the pandemic has shown us this by slapping on our face. There are many posts, talks, podcasts that shared how to overcome anxiety during these times. But I am here to share a different story. I am not an over-achiever or "an influencer", but still, I believe you will be able to relate to it.
The story is about how I overcame the fear of being a leader.
I always felt that I am not a person who can lead a group or a team or anything which involve people management. I thought that I could do whatever I am assigned but can never assign the task to others. So I always shied away from volunteering for such roles. Once I checked personality traits based on my name and date of birth, it was written that these people could be a good leader. I started laughing, thinking this is all crap because there was this bias that I created myself, which restricted me to explore anything different and courageous. I am not saying to become superstitious and believe the horoscopes, which I still don't. I am just highlighting how we can constrain ourselves by our assumptions and self-doubts.
Then last year, something different happened. I am a PhD student, and generally, we work on our own research problem. It is more of individual work than teamwork. But, things are changing now, and collaborations and joint work are happening.
Last year, a team of 5 people from my lab, including my supervisor and me, participated in DIHARD challenge. It focuses on improving state-of-the-art models on a very challenging speech dataset for Speaker Diarization. Don't worry about the jargon here. My supervisor/guide said, "Prachi, you will lead the team. We want to be at the top. Go for it." Then came flooding all my fears and self-doubts. But if you are in academia, then you know how difficult to say no to your guide. Then I prepared myself for these unwanted but necessary responsibilities. Initially, it looked all hazy and unclear regarding the approach and strategies.
We had significantly less time and a lot of things to do. But then I started to figure out what each person in the group is good at and started assigning tasks accordingly. It may be data simulation, training strategies, novel architectures ideas etc. Then within two months, we were able to get our results. But something was not right. We were very far from the best of the teams, and I felt the urge not to give up yet. So I pushed my team and tried many ideas within a week, and guess what? It worked. We were now in the top-5 teams on the leader board. It was a fantastic feeling when you see your team competing with the world's best universities and industries that have ten times more resources and collaborators than you. Then, in the end, we managed to be in the top-10 teams in the challenge. Then my teammate said, "It's only because of you that we could push ourselves this far." And that was a moment of overwhelming joy when you realize that you have done something you thought you could never do.
This challenge was a real milestone in my life. I realized that I could be anything, and there are no more boundaries. I started volunteering for extra-curricular activities and became chair of IEEE- Indian Institute of Science, Bangalore Women in Science Affinity Group. I say "yes" to any invitation to present or give a talk. Because once you commit to something, it's difficult to not work on that. It becomes a responsibility and a question of our reputation about which we all very concerned.
TL; DR :
Don't be afraid to take responsibilities and be a leader.
Have patience and have faith in the Universe. Things will eventually work out.
Be open to new ideas and opportunities. Please don't give up before you have tried it.
The last but most important thing is never to restrict yourself in boundaries and self-doubts.
It is rightly said, "The wind does not break a tree that bends "
PS: After seeing this phrase TL;DR at many places, I finally googled it and burst out in laughter. TL; DR stands for Too Long; Didn't Read! And I thought it is some French/Greek/Latin word for a summary. I was TL;DC - Tool Lazy; Didn't check :D